Original lyrics, Copyright Chad Childers, 1998-2002 AMOEBA (tune: Don't cry for me Argentina) join in, join in... amoeba, amoeba... come join the fannish amoeba, it happens most every Sunday, sitting on couches and on each other, sitting on floorspace and on each other. come join the fannish amoeba, a hug is its way of growing, it just absorbs you with great insistence it keeps on hugging, don't keep your distance. come join the fannish amoeba, the truth is you never leave it, you just bud off it and start another, you never leave it, you have to love it. HCG (tune: Pepper by the Butthole Surfers) africa & zydeco & noisy little fly, never gonna take a drink of whisky or of rye. absinthe is a nasty drink of alcohol & wormwood, tequilla is a wormy drink you salt it and you lick it. everyone is slipping her the spanish fly & oysters, chorionic nadotropin's slightly more effective. BLASPHEMY (tune: One of Us by Joan Asborne) what if gods a butthead just a clod like beavis there are nuns on the bus... heh heh gods incompetent heh heh god makes potty jokes heh heh heh... i am the great godholio! STALKING IN A WINTER WONDERLAND (tune: Walking...) saw my name on television not to blame for your condition im so afraid my license youve made stalking in a winter wonderland in my front yard you have built a snowman with a camera and a microphone you have asked me out and i said no maam cant you get a clue and leave me alone STAR OF DEATH (tune: We Three Kings...) we three klingon warriors are bearing death we traverse afar blood and batleh and disruptors conquering yonder star oooh star of plunder star of death star of klingon bad of breath klingon women deadly violent klingon victims strangely silent POSITIVE ATTITUDE BLUES positive attitude man dont know the meaning of pain positive attitude man dont know the meaning of pain theres a million other words he dont know the meaning of but he dont mind, hes positive attitude man He got his baby, a diamond ring... she says thass all right, I didn't getcha anything but he dont mind... KAREN'S SONG Karen, Karen, I don't wanna learn to live without you today you're leaving, and tonight I'm gonna dream about you... but the plane is calling and you gotta get going and I don't know whether you'll be back tomorrow... so I'll keep smiling, I'll hide the hurting, I'll ask you baby can I drive you out there... When you're flying, tell me baby are you thinking of me I'm not crying but I don't know if you really love me but the plane is calling and you gotta get going and I don't know whether you'll be back tomorrow... so i'll swallow my questions and live for the moment and the joy we share when we're together... Every minute, that you're with me's like a happy hour when you're in it, my life just begins to flower... but the plane is calling and you gotta get going and I don't know whether you'll be back tomorrow... so I'll keep trying and I'll keep hoping and maybe someday soon there'll be a tomorrow... My heart is beating, but I sometimes don't know why without you I watched you leaving, and I don't why I couldn't stop you... yeah your new life is calling and you've gotta get going and I know you won't be back tomorrow... but I want you to love me and I want you to touch me, and I just don't wanna live without you. Karen, Karen, I'll try to learn to live without you I'm still grieving, gotta give up all my dreams about you yeah the plane is calling and you've gotta get going and I don't think there'll ever be a tomorrow... so I'll remember the good times and the things you taught me the joy we shared, the joy and the sorrow Karen, Karen, the joy and the sorrow, the dreams of tomorrow for Karen... and me.... BLASPHEMOUS BIRTHDAY (apologies to Depeche Mode) for Karen Wasielewski Girl of thirty, best of life ahead of her Bought a house, with a yard Programs Java, never bored off the IBM machine I don't want to sing any birthday songs But I think that Karen's been around for so long that I'm gonna buy A great big chocolate cake Blow out the candles, try to get them all Cut the cake, with a knife Eat too much, dance like a Goth with a stomach ache I don't want to sing any birthday songs But I think that Karen's been around for so long that I'm gonna eat A great big chocolate cake